Saturday Swears: Food Pairings

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While participating in #NaBloPoMo, I will be doing a few weekly themed posts so I don’t have to think so hard some days. Happy Saturday Swears, folks! Today’s theme is near and dear to my heart because it’s in my stomach, kind of.


 

Going through your standard arsenal of swears can get a little boring. In my youth (which is over and dead and buried,) I experimented with various ways to liven up my expletives.

Tried them in another language, but then no one understands how mad you are at your cable company and everyone should understand how mad you are at your cable company.

Attempted to create a few of my own, but that’s basically like trying to make fetch happen. Fetch is never going to happen.

Then I discovered my now favorite method of creative swearing.

Food swears.

The concept is simple. You take a swear and you pair it with a food. It’s fun as shit. Look.

Cooter-bagel.

Bologna-fucker.

Shit-Twizzler.

Dick-burger.

Mayonaise-ass.

Twat-waffle.

This game is my favorite. Try it at parties, or bust it out at Thanksgiving this year. You know you want to find out what levels of sailordom your Aunt Ruth can sink to.

This post was brought to you by #NaBloPoMo or National Blog Post Month. I will be writing a blog post every day for the month of November. You’re welcome, Shnitzel-Tits.

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