You’ve Been Eating M&Ms All Wrong

During my first pregnancy, I went to the movies by myself. A lot. I like the movies. Movies are fun. But I wasn’t going to the movies for the movies. I was going for the popcorn and candy.

Now, before you call me an idiot for dropping enough on movie theater concessions to pay for a semester of in-state tuition, I’m going to stop you. Because yes, I am an idiot. But I’m the best idiot, ever, because my love of popcorn and candy at the movies led me to a discovery that has brought me a lifetime’s worth of joy.

Butt M&M’s.

You may be thinking, “What the hell is this idiot talking about?” Calm down. I will tell you.

Butt M&M’s are when you take a bag of M&M’s and you sit on them at the movies while you are eating your popcorn. Once you have devoured most of the enormous bucket of popcorn that you bought for just yourself, enough time has probably passed that your Butt M&M’s are ready to rock your face off.

You see, your body heat melts the chocolate inside of the M&M’s candy shell. So when you bite down on one, the innards are all melty and amazing and you will never want to eat them at room temperature ever again.

Just wanted to let you all in on the most valuable information of your miserable (until now) lives. Go forth, and enjoy some Butt M&M’s of your own. Peanuts be with you.

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2 thoughts on “You’ve Been Eating M&Ms All Wrong

  1. Okay but butt M&Ms clearly have nothing on (peanut) M&Ms mixed into your popcorn. The popcorn warms them up and also results in a delicious salty-sweet combination … plus then you don’t have to wait until your butt M&Ms are ready before you get to have chocolate.

    Efficiency is important.

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