Summer Means Never Having To Say You’re Sorry For Sweat Stains Under Your Boobs.

Summertime is happening! I mostly know this because I am showering at a closer-to-normal-person rate on account of I’m sweating my balls off over here. Maryland summers are like living in an atmosphere of butter. Shit is gross.

 

Look, Simba. Everything the light touches is where you get swamp-ass.

 

I gotta let you guys in on something in my life that is also sweaty. Fit4Mom’s Stroller Strides class. I’ve been a member for over a year, but in the last few months I’ve finally gotten motivated so I’m like, trying. Which is still very new and very weird for someone who, upon being informed in middle school gym class that we were starting a unit on cross country running, stood up and proclaimed “I do not run across my street, let alone my country,” then pretended to have my period for three weeks. I’ll post more about this later, but let me just say that I’m so in love with everything about this class. Even the burpees.

 

Eff burpees.

 

But back to summertime. August and I are tearing through this mother. Beach? Check.

 

Still finding sand in everything we own.
Still finding sand in everything we own.

 

Ice cream? Check. Farmers Market? Check.

 

Cannot walk by the kettle corn stand without him going "popTORN popTORN!"
Cannot walk by the kettle corn stand without him going “popTORN popTORN!”

 

Awkward tan lines? Check. We went to Ocean City, MD last week with my family and had a blasty-blast. August played in the sand, discovered wet sand and was ecstatic, ran away from waves, and said “HI!” to every person trying to sunbake in peace. We spent lots of time on the boardwalk, ate crabs, rode some rides, and ate a ton of things that were bad for us and fried and dipped in sugar.

 

And it's safe to say he has inherited my Oreo-induced euphoria.
And it’s safe to say he has inherited my Oreo-induced euphoria.

 

His latest verbal thing is saying my name in the middle of exclaiming something.

Want something? “Pease, Mama, pease!”

Don’t want something? “No, Mama, no!”

Excited about something? “Yay, Mama, yay!”

Want a bite of something? “Aaaah, Mama, aaaah!” (with his mouth as wide as he can get it)

 

Walking around OC with funnel cake, french fries, popcorn, donuts, and other goodies that are going to make my ass jiggle for the next month, I heard a whole lot of the latter. And I’m so thrilled, because August has been treated for a speech delay since he was 12-months old, but has had an explosion of language in the last month. He’s repeating everything (I’m so lucky he says “sit” and “shit” exactly the same) and his vocabulary is expanding so fast. Over the last year, I’ve heard little things from him, small words here and there. It was usually the first sound of a word, so if he wanted a ball, he would say BAAA and if he wanted me to open a box, he would say OOOH.

 

It’s been a year of waiting to hear his voice outside of tiny snippets, little soundbites. Hearing him say, “Hiiiii, Mama!” when I come to get him from his crib in the morning, or hearing him make the effort to say BA-NANA instead of NANA, or watching him sing along and dance to a song he likes or “read” me a book he knows by memory is just a whole bunch of the greatest things ever. He’s still behind for his age, but I’m finally hearing his words in his voice and I. Will. Take it.

 

We have a little stream that is a short walk from our house, and one of my goals this summer is to make use of it. Walk August and Bea down there in the morning with a blanket, towels, and a packed lunch, and spend the day cooling off from the I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter-air. Part of finally entering a period in my life I would describe as “active,” means I no longer have a violent reaction to walking short distances, and I even have less hatred of nature and dirt. So I can do things like take advantage of the fact that we basically have a free pool, that I never have to clean, that is just a ten-minute walk from my front door.

 

And I get moments like these, anytime I want 'em!
And I get moments like these, anytime I want ’em!

 

All he wanted to do today was throw rocks from the shore into the water.
All he wanted to do today was throw rocks from the shore into the water.

 

And all I could do was take pictures with my iPod because I never remember to bring an actual camera.
And all I could do was take pictures with my iPod because I never remember to bring an actual camera.

 

I hope you’re all having amazing summers. I’m going to make an effort to post something summery we do each week, so check back soon. And let me know what you like doing with your tiny humans in the hot months, so every week isn’t titled “We Ran Through My Neighbor’s Sprinkler While He Was At Work and Now All His Grass Is Dead.”

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10 thoughts on “Summer Means Never Having To Say You’re Sorry For Sweat Stains Under Your Boobs.

  1. I love to see a notification that you have a new post! Criminy you crack me up – I wish I lived closer to you so I could secretly stalk you to become your friend so we could hang out :p

  2. We got a kiddie pool, water table and sprinkler toy for the backyard, so we spend our weekends out there. The best part is I can drink wine and there is no sand in any of our cracks. (I did the beach with the kiddo once. Not for me.)

    1. Oh man. Getting the backyard in decent shape is our #1 project right now so we can chill out there. Hopefully soon!

  3. Swamp ass… !OH THE SWAMP ASS! We rode the zoo train for, like, 30 minutes today. I stood up and a family of frogs jumped out of my underwear.
    Also… LOVED your comment about the ham and the maxi skirt, by the way. Had me laughing all morning.

    1. Oh girl. Zoo train. Ugh. We went to the Orioles game over the weekend, with seats right in the sun. My shorts were still wet when we got home, over an hour after the game ended. I’m still upset.

  4. Too bad there are no pictures of when he walked out into the water and fell on his butt where it was six inches deep, instantly saturating his diaper. That was pretty cool.

    Also no pictures of the half PBJ sandwich he left smeared across my shirt while I was carrying him there!

    Lessons learned: next time he will wear a swim diaper and I will wear him facing outwards while he eats…

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