The algorithm for when I sit down to write a new blog post goes as follows.
I have to do something in a timely fashion.
That’s an algorithm. Trust me.
Life back in America is balls. I have actual shit to do and actual places to be, and an entire house to keep “clean” and not just a tiny apartment. I made the bed everyday when we were in Spain. Why? Because I barely had jack shit to clean around there. If you make your bed everyday, it is because you do not have enough work to do. I had so little to clean that I was basically making up chores so I could say, “I cleaned our home today! Ham, please.”
Being slowly suffocated under the crushing weight of not having enough hours in the day has one redeeming quality, and that is that time is going by quickly and my Adamless hours are not feeling as long as they actually are. But fack, I miss my husband. If I ever go Full Metal Shitty Attitude and start bitching that my husband never does anything around the house, please remind me that he does a ton, and he does all the stuff I don’t want to do. Not only is my workload hugely increased in his absence, it is all the worst jobs. Mowing the lawn? Blehck. Taking out the trash? Barf. Cleaning the cat sand? Die. Poop scooping the yard and dumping it in my neighbor’s yard? Stab. Among the frillion other things he does around here as my equal partner in marriage, parenting and life. Bring back my husband. Or hire me a shit ton of help. Send the entire cast of Downton Abbey.
One very smart thing I did when Adam left was hire a cleaning service. I can get my day-to-day cleaning stuff done, and they come every other week and do the big stuff that’s too much of a pain for me to do with August trying to eat the cats. Thank freaking goodness. I usually spend the day before trying to get the house straight enough to have the cleaning service come and clean, so I know that my chances of keeping this place in livable conditions on my own are zilch. I am glad that I had no faith in my abilities up front and didn’t kid myself.
I also have my sisters that have been helping me by watching August when I need to run errands, have an appointment, or need to clean separate from a toddler. They’ve been a huge help in this. Honestly, after writing this far, I don’t know how I am still behind on everything on this planet with as much help as I have. It probably means I suck as this. I will try to care later.
If you enjoyed this post, hope that I stay busy so I will want to procrastinate the actual work I have to do by writing more. You’re welcome in advance, because I know I will have something in the near future I don’t want to do. I am currently willing myself to unpack our suitcases from Spain so I can pack a new bag for us to go to Pittsburgh for the weekend. Stay tuned to see how that works out.