We Went On Vacation With a Five-Month Old and No One is Dead or All That Injured.

Kicking yourself in the balls can be kind of effective. As of my last post, I’ve exercised most days, and have refrained from eating every single piece of food I see. I’m feeling good.


I’m feeling especially good because we embarked on something that has terrified me for the past almost six months: Vacation with a baby. And we did it almost all the way right? This is partly because I packed about half of the contents of our home.


Pretty accurate.
Pretty accurate.


Every winter, Adam and I organize a trip to Deep Creek Lake with a bunch of our friends. This year, we invited 18 people, the most we have had so far. We rented a huge house that had a separate pool/party house. This part was fundamental in us being able to enjoy ourselves and even sort of behave like people that don’t have a baby for a couple hours. All the loudness and drunkenness and general merriment happened in the pool house, and the main house was left quiet at night and ideal for baby-snoozing.


We made one screw-up in that we forgot the charger for the parent unit of the baby monitor, but then all that community college I went to got put to good use and I became a super genius. I plugged in my iPod Touch in the nursery. By nursery, I mean closet. Get a room with a walk-in closet and you’re golden. Anycrap, I set up my iPod Touch and brought my laptop to the pool house, and then started a Google+ Hangout with myself. Well, with my old Google account, because I couldn’t Hangout with myself. But boom. Instant video baby monitor. I am the queen of the worldiverse.


Vacation also made us realize just how easy life can be when you have a bunch of friends that think your baby is cute and want to play with him. I barely touched my kid during dinner one night, because he was being a party animal with a small crowd of our ladyfriends. “Can I hold him?” Uh, hell yes you can. I’m gonna go pee and put on a bra.




August also got his first experience with snow. It lasted about three minutes, because it was cold as yeti balls outside, but it was three of the cutest minutes of my life. Small tip: If you are going to take your baby out in the snow and don’t live in the Arctic, just know that you will barely have your kid actually out in the actual snow. Snow is cold as shit and babies are real sticklers for comfort. Therefore, there is little point in shelling out big bucks for a snow suit they are going to be in for less time than it takes them to work out a banana poop. Buy that shit used. Most likely, the baby that used it before your baby only sat in it for a couple minutes, too.


I paid about $6 for this presh moment.


August also got his first taste of snow. We weren’t sure how he would like it, since everything he eats is warm, but he was all about some snow snacking.


He's not mad. He's just destroying that ish.
He’s not mad. He’s just destroying that ish.


All in all, our first vacation as a family, plus 18 other people and four dogs, was a success. August woke up more at night than usual, but I suspect that we just happened to be on vacay during a growth spurt. He drank his weight before bed, and woke up demanding seconds and dessert. Having a walk-in closet was a big, unexpected help. We didn’t shut the door, but it was nice for him to have his own area and us to have ours. This is probably the only year that we will ever bring him on this particular vacation, though. There is something about having a small baby that makes you make responsible choices when normally you would just be drunk on the floor singing pants-related parodies of 90’s Jock Jams.


My swan song.
My swan song.


I wanna sing my song. Next year, August will be old enough to jump out of bed and snatch away my cheap champagne. Mommy doesn’t share booze, kid. Get your own.


3 thoughts on “We Went On Vacation With a Five-Month Old and No One is Dead or All That Injured.

  1. Hilarious! I found your blog through a funny comment you left on MODG & now you’re one of my first clicks amongst the eleventy billion blogs I follow on my Google reader. Thanks for bringing the funny. And your tiny nugget is seriously adorable.

  2. Hi Sara,
    My name is Jane and I’m with Dwellable.
    I was looking for blogs about Deep Creek Lake to share on our site and I came across your post…If you’re open to it, shoot me an email at jane(at)dwellable(dot)com.
    Hope to hear from you soon!

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