Turns out, taking care of a baby is a buttload of work. Multiple buttloads, even. It is currently 10am, and I have not had a chance to brush my teeth yet. I’m typing this one-handed, with a baby on my boob.
We almost have a two-month old. August is awesome. His smiles and screams are about 1:1. Ish. That’s a pretty nice ratio. I get him out of the house pretty often. There is usually some kind of bodily fluid of his on me. He sleeps through the night. Praise Ke$ha, that part rules.
Things are finally settling down a tad, so I’m making the commitment. I’m back to blogging. You can look forward to precious gems like..
The Endless List of Shit You Can Try When Breastfeeding Is Being a Rude Whore.
The Embarrassingly Late Nursery Reveal.
I Bought All The Baby Things. Here’s a Shorter List For You.
How To Get Your Loud Ass Child to Go the Hell to Sleep.
Capitalizing Titles Confuses Me.
So I Didn’t Give Birth to A 90lb Baby. Now What?
My Beer and Me: A Great Love, Reunited.
And many more family favorites.
All that in due time. Until then, I leave you with the best apology I can think of after so much time away: Public humiliation.
One time, I did a whole lot of white-girl-dancing in a Gym Class Heroes video about Myspace. In my defense, this was before I started drinking.
This post was brought to you by when I was cast as a “candy raver”.