+ I grew out of all my clothes. All the bottoms, at least. Oh, eating all the cheese in the world with ice cream on top has consequences?? Pish posh, put some sprinkles on that bitch! I bought some bigger shorts that I am now working on growing out of with this bowl of ice cream in front of me. Tomorrow, I will start surviving on pictures of lettuce.
+ My most awesome husband made me breakfast. Pancakes, turkey bacon, pineapple, strawberries, and bananas. I hate getting out of bed in the morning. The smell of bacon is the only thing that can drag me out of such cozyness with any kind of spring in my step. Adam has learned this and uses it against me more often than I deserve, and I love him for it.
+ Adam and I went to our friend’s annual Kentucky Derby party. I ate some carrots. And then I ate all the things, including the icing off of one cupcake when I said two seconds before that I don’t like icing. We began the end of the evening by playing Times Up, an awesome game that I am awesome at. During the first round, we had to leave because our friend Bobby made me laugh so hard that I got huge belly pains that made me Google “signs of pre-term labor” and “am I having an effing contraction?” I wasn’t. But try falling asleep after reading all the Google search results for that shit.
+ We went to see the Avengers! My eternal gift in marriage to Adam, along with being a hot babe and a joy to be around, is the fact that I always ask him to take me to superhero and disaster movies. Not once in our five years have I been like “Ohmuhgahhh take me to see that new Nicholas Sparks movayyyyyy.” You’re welcome, dear. High five. And the Avengers was full of ‘splosions and wonderful and I loved it.
+ I yelled “Stop drinking your butt!!” to my stupid and disgusting dog about 12 times in the last hour.