Fine, Being Pregnant Isn’t the Worst Worst.

Since you last visited, I have had time to come to terms with my smaller rear. I have decided it may not even be that much smaller. It just may be a matter of it looking small next to my growing belly. Whatever. If it is that bad after I’m done playing baby-oven, I’ll buy a new one.

I really couldn’t think of anything to write about this week, because nothing is really happening. I have had some monster headaches most days, and have been feeling like junk more or less during the daytime. Being pregnant pretty much gets really boring sometimes. I’m not even on bedrest or anything, but I have zero desire to do much, or at least zero energy. There’s lots I WANT to do, mainly getting this house straight. But my body isn’t in it, and I’d rather not suffer the repercussions my body will bestow upon me. Example: I puked the last time I tried to take a shower. Lovely then.

So, as stupid and boring and annoying as pregnancy has been so far, I am still aware that I am really freaking lucky. I don’t have any serious medical issues. I got pregnant pretty much as soon as I went off birth control and so much as looked at my husband. The baby is healthy and right on schedule and having a happy old time head-butting my bladder on occasion. So I really don’t have much to whine about. Which makes me want to whine because I am an excellent whiner and how dare anyone try to take that away from me.

HERE IS THE POINT. There are some really awesome things about being pregnant. The obvious one is that I am going to have a cuter-than-all-the-babies baby in a few months. I’m going to list some things, so I can look back on this when I am telling my fetus that it is a jerk for not letting me wash my hair.

Reasons Being Pregnant Doesn’t Completely Suck

– Adam and my sister, Lindsay, bring me popsicles whenever I want one.

– While I’m not going overboard crazy, I am no longer giving myself the stink-eye for using the big bowls as my ice cream holders, instead of the dinky little bowls.

– I have acquired an enhanced sense of superiority to men. This lady, right here, me, she MAKES PEOPLE. Out of a dumb little sperm and an annoying little egg. What do you guys make? Oh, not people? That’s adorable.

– My belly has gotten bigger, and so have my boobs, but the rest of me is shrinking. I had to buy smaller pants. This will probably not still be the case next month, but I am enjoying the hell out of my small pants right now.

– For the first time in mostly forever, the scale of how much of a babe I think I am tips way up if I have less clothing on. This goes back to me being a people creator. I walk by a mirror and I automatically get the intro toΒ Man, I Feel Like a Woman in my head. I hope I still feel this way in the summer, and that America agrees with me.

Bow Bow Now Now Bow Bow. Let's go girls.

– My skin is way better than it has ever been since I was probably a fetus myself. I don’t even use face wash anymore, except maybe once or twice a week. I splash some water on this priceless face in the morning, put on a truckload of moisturizer, and I’m good. I still wear makeup, but definitely less than I used to. My concealer budget is grateful, Baby Human.

– Adam gives out back rubs like Jesus gave out fishies. Or however that story goes. I am swimming in back rubs.

– I can tell anyone they stink and I don’t have to feel bad about it. I take advantage of this probably more than I should, and I may be lucky that anyone still talks to me or hasn’t told me I stink yet.


This concludes my happy feelings about the body snatching going on in my own body.


2 thoughts on “Fine, Being Pregnant Isn’t the Worst Worst.

    1. Get off my damn cloud! That’s why the list is here.. for when you are completely right and I know most of this stuff is gonna blow.

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