Release the Krattins

Today, I want to talk about my cats. Now everyone is excited! I know, I know, this is a lot for a Friday. You don’t know if you can handle all the joy and cuddles and smells about to come your way. Breathe. We will go through this journey together.

When Adam and I got our house almost three years ago, we decided not to have any pets for a year so we could get settled in. Maybe enjoy a little chunk of time that didn’t involve lint-rolling our entire bodies every morning to free ourselves from fur that didn’t belong to us.

Instead, two days before we closed on our home, Adam’s mother discovered five kittens in a barn next to her house. The first day that we were in our home, we had these guys.

Hey, uh, we're gonna stay here for a while. And you're out of milk.

Adam and I took turns naming our house guests. He named Faraday after a scientist and I pretended he named him after a guy from Lost, and Badger was named after a meth addict on Breaking Bad. And he wonders why I refuse to let go of the baby-naming reigns. I named Bitsa after a cat my aunt and uncle had when I was growing up. Adam named Copernicus and he chose the name Bluto for the kitten that was big enough to eat all of his siblings.

**I just realized Adam named four kittens. I have gone almost three years thinking we went splitsies on them. The baby name is most definitely mine for the choosing.**

We fostered all the little guys for a while, then decided to put them all on the kitty adoption circuit, keeping whichever two cats were left. Bluto went fast. He had.. personality. And liked to sit in the communal food dish and eat around himself. The guy that adopted him renamed him for some Orioles player. Faraday and Copernicus went to our lovely friends Tom and Angie, and they renamed them for hockey players. I am the only person good at naming things.

So.. yeah. We already moved our box in. We're gonna stay.

So Bitsa and Badger became our first furbabies. Bitsa eats most of the food, Badger claws most of my beautiful furniture. They’re both big attention whores, just like mommy.

And a little “Where Are They Now? Krattin Edition”

Faraday and Copernicus are still happy and furry in their new home. I hear they like laundry.

Bluto’s owner texted me out of the blue one day to set up a play date with our cats, and then kept texting me about how I gave him an evil cat that keeps attacking his girlfriend. He sent me a picture of a fully grown Bluto next to his golden retriever for scale, and I’m pretty sure that cat is part moose. He may have eaten this guy’s girlfriend.

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